ICC marriage • Who? – nontraditionals (little “ingroup” importance) – romantics – compensators (look for what was lacking): “I must have been Maroccan in another life”- love culture before loving a partner) – Rebels – Internationals – Others

Phases • Honeymoon- novelty • setting-in-phase- cultural differences- reality! – I mamura, A “Husband-Wife Role Misunderstanding: The Case of International Marriage” International Journal of Sociology of the Family (1986) • life pattern phase – solve – ignore – put up with

List of troubles • values • food and drink (where, what, how much) • sex • male/female roles - agreement about the roles • time (informal time system; future, present, past-oriented c.) • place of residence • politics • friends

forts. • finances • in-laws • social class • religion • raising children • the expatriate spouse • stress/conflict • coping with death and divorce

Kultur i kontaktannonser på Internet Eller VEM SÖKER VI?

Att söka sin partner på Internet •Olika databaser: •t.ex: • • • • •

Vilka är vi och vem vill vi ha? • Kontaktannonser av kvinnor och män (20-35 år gamla) från följande länder: – Sverige (40 kv/40 m) – Ukraina (40 kv/40 m) – Kamerun (40 kv/40 m) – Singapore (40 kv/40 m)

Svenska kvinnor i egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Aktiva! • I like to travel, listening to music, hang out with my friends, go out to party... Kerstin, 31 • Sportiga! • I like to do different sports such as horsebackriding, skating, skiing, sailing, swimming, aerobics, hiking, playing vollyball and so on… •Linnea, 32

Forts. Svenska kvinnor i egna beskrivningar • Nyfikna! •… to explore new things and new people •Linnea, 34 • Resesugna+tycker om musiga hemmakvällar! • I like travel and I love cosy home evenings with good food … Tina, 30 • Självständiga!

Samt! • Tycker om natur • love the nature and what it can give, winter or summer, spring or fall. I am a social person and likes everything that can give a great day. Pia, 33 • Ärliga • Snälla • Glada • Positiva!

Svenska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • En man som älskar sport!!! •A nice guy who’s into sports… •Sarah, 31

Svenska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • HUMOR!!! •Someone who can make me laugh •Mia, 23

Svenska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 3 • Som har båda fötterna på jorden: •…Who has his feet on the ground •Jess, 28

Svenska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 4 •Modiga? :-) •A man who can handle an independent woman •Anna, 31

Svenska män i sina egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Aktiva och sportiga! • I am a man who prefer an active lifestyle both in free time and holidays. • Hendrik, 35 • Natursugna! • I like to relax and have a good time and be outside in the nature • Leif, 35

Forts. svenska män i sina egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Resesugna! Och söker resekamrater: • I seek a girl that loke to have fun and loves to travel… Im looking for someone that is willing to travel with me • Jonas, 32

Svenska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Aktiva kvinnor! SPORT! • She like to have a good time and have an active lifestyle • L 35 • If you also have an active life like me … • nalle 27 • …like to do a lot of workout • mr_zestr_28 • Who …is not totally against sport and outdor activities… bek_31

Svenska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • Självsäkra kvinnor med båda fötterna på jorden, ambitiösa: • who knows what she wants and gets it lars28 • strong, believs in her self… • Hass1731 •, 31 • A girl who likes herself... • mike_32 • She has a strong confidence…. • magnus_30

Svenska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 3 • Humor! • Like to have a good laugh… • Lanni_24 • Woman with a lot of humor! • Jacob 31

kvinnor och män i Sverige •

UKRAINA

Ukrainska kvinnor i sina egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Romantiska •Where are you, my one and only prince? •Nadya, 27 •I long for simple loving relations, for sitting together and watching a sunset, hanging around and holding hands of each other •Inna, 27

Forts. Ukrainska kvinnor: Vilka är de? • Hängivna till sina partner –I am willing to give everything from my side to him –Irina, 25 • My heart is searching for that special person and full of unspent love and tenderness, which I am ready to give away to my second part •Olesya, 25

Forts. Ukrainska kvinnor:Vilka är de? • Respekterar sin partner: • Marriage for me is a mutual work of two people. I suppose the man should be the head of the family. And the woman duty is to respect his opinion even if it differs • Masha,26

Forts. Ukrainska kvinnor: vilka är de? •Giftemål- och familjinriktade •I like to cook, to make coziness •Nadia, 27

Ukrainska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 1+2 • En make, mannen för livet, att bilda familj •…And spend our life together •Lena, 25 • OCH han som skulle vilja ha barn och som tycker om barn! –.. who will love and pamper his children –Helen, 30 •I would like to meet a man, who loves children and does want to have a friendly family Sasha 26

Forts.Ukrainska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 3 • Målmedveten och ambitiös: • He must clearly know what he wants from life and achieve his goals •Larisa 27

Forts.Ukrainska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 4 • Stöd i livet: A real man with strong character and fond heart Olga, 27 Who can provide a srong shoulder for me to lean upon when days seem challenging as they do from time to time in our lives Lusya, 27

Ukrainska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 5 • Äldre män prioriteras: •I am attracted to older, reliable and more exprienced men with more self-confidence •Elena 30 •I am looking for a somewhat older man (within 20 years of my age) – Anna, 28

Ukrainska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 6 • Med bra ekonomi! • a ”well-to-do” man sökes! •He... must be financially secure •Sonya, 24

Ukrainska män i egna beskrivningar: vilka är de? • NO SMOKING /DRINKING! • do not smoke, drink socially and like socializing and meeting new people as well as learning new things. • Igor 21 • My life position is health and sport(not for smocking and drinking.) I'm fond of hand-to-hand fighting, swimming and tennis. • Vladimir 27

Forts. Ukrainska män: vilka är de? • Bara bra killar! • I'am rather a good boy, really good boy!!! • Sergej 27 • GOOD GOOD BOY The cheerful Cheerful Optimist the handsome Man the man!!! • Viktor 29

Forts.Ukrainska män: vilka är de? • Tycker om barn och familj: • Very much I like to communicate with different interesting people to look for children and to be engaged with them… • Slava 25

Ukrainska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Bara en bra människa / tjej! • That the person was good this main thing :-) • Oleg 28 • GOOD GOOD GIRLE • Sasha 30 • It's me. I'm looking for girl, fine girl, maybe that's all • Pavel 20

Ukrainska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • Som är snäll och tycker om barn: • The girl at which kind heart which very much loves children, has sociable, friendly character, can be understanding friend • Slava 25 • Clever and kind women which would like to have real family • Igor 34

Ukrainska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 3 • Som kan skapa ”hem”: • Attractive, merry, knowing how to create a heat and comfort in house. • Sergij 27

Ukrainska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 4 • Seriös och ansvarsfull, klok • I want to meet the girl for serious attitudes. Purposeful and reliable • Andrij 32 • … Reliable, ready to share your life with me. • Sviatoslav, 29

Ukrainska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium ? • Inga! • My Ideal Partner...It's you :) • Zak 30

Ukrainska kvinnors och mäns drömpartner

Kamerun

Kamerunska kvinnor i sina egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Känslosamma och snälla : • I am a young, sensible, attractive, caressing an caring lady… • M, 21 • Sincere person, kind, sensible, caressing, loving Claudi 29 •Religiösa: • born a gain in Christ Jesus, attentive understanding intelligent humorous • Ngeh, 24

Kamerunska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Religiös: • Christian and really God fearing • Gloria 22

Kamerunska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • Ärlig! • Do not even think, of replying to this, if you are short of honesty •Lia 26 •…this person must be a honest person •Mary 24

Kamerunska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 3 • Seriös och direkt: • I am a serious and stright forward girl and looking for a serious guy who is also serious •Stella 23

Kamerunska kvinnors drömpartner: Kriterium 4 • Sexig! • charmy,…humble and hot in love • lui 24

Kamerunska män i sina egna beskrivningar: Vilka är de? • Religiös: • goes to church…. • Enoh, 24 • Social: • I am a guy who likes dating and chatting with friends around the world… • Danny 30 • Sexig !!!: Sexy, cool and educated… F, 27

Kamerunska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Religiös: •He who finds a soul mate, (WIFE) finds a good thing and obtains favour in God” • F, 22

Kamerunska mäns drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • Ärlig! • A solid woman in her convinctions and honest and natural person… • ciagant 30

Kamerunska män och kvinnor

Singapore

Kvinnor från Singapore i egna beskrivningar: vilka är de? • Välutbildade: •I am female, single, graduate, age 35, 5ft, 120 lb, living in Singapore, never married…. •Sailormoon, 35 •I am an elegant oriental lady who is schooled in English classics as I posess a degree in English Literature •Kim, 44 • I am consultant and a financial planner by profession • lynns 35

Kvinnor från Singapore i egna beskrivningar: vilka är de? • Kariär: det är därför jag inte är gift!!! • I have been very focused on my job and have neglected my social life for the most part of my life •Lia 29

Kvinnor från Singapore i egna beskrivningar: vilka är de? • Blyga: •I am a typical shy Asian girl •Li, 28

Kvinnor från Singapore drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Välutbildad: • Hope to meet a graduate Mr. Right • lady_ vampiress, 28

Kvinnor från Singapore drömpartner Kriterium 2 • To share happiness and sorrow…: stöd • I am looking for a soulmate who can share happiness and sorrow in life •perlwhite 28 • … to share the joys and woes of life… •Jo 29 • I am not looking for a big baby who whine all the times • Caroline 24

Kvinnor från Singapore drömpartner Kriterium 3 • Representabel, bra ekonomi: • Someone …financially stable… with a successful career • Crystell 29

Kvinnor från Singapore drömpartner Kriterium 4 • En bra samtalspartner: •To have endless conversaions about everything • Sabrina, 23

Män från Singapore: vilka är de? • Vi är duktiga!!! självreklam • Working as R & D ingeneer for the past 7 years • Vivek 29 • Hi, I am 27 y.o man. Graduated from Australian university. Currently employed as an auditor. Rick 27

Män från Singapore: vilka är de? • Målmedvetna: • I am currently working at the engineering line and taking a part time Master course at night. • BW 30

Män från Singapore drömpartner: Kriterium 1 • Kvinnan för livet • I am looking for someone who will be with me during my darkest moments • jackn 28 • To share all joys and sorrows and whom I would give all my love and affection • Geremy 25

Män från Singapore drömpartner: Kriterium 2 • ”Båda fötterna på jorden” • My mate should be down to earth, good sense … • Franc 23

Kvinnor och män från Singapore

LIKA ELLER OLIKA??? • Finns det kulturella skillnader? • Ja! • Finns det likheter ? • Ja!

Källor • Fisher, H. Anatomy of Love A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray. Fawcett Columbine, NY • Gao, G (stencil) • Berbyuk (unpublished article) • Romano, D